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Go
Ahead
Pull the Trigger You
probably know the joke about the guy who walks into a bar and finds the finest-looking
woman he's ever seen. Surprisingly, she seems to take an interest in him too, so they go
to her apartment. When they walk in, the guy sees all these photos of a man strewn all
over the place, and he begins to feel guilty. Perhaps it is her husband or boyfriend, he
thinks to himself. "Let's have sex," says the girl, and the guy sheepishly
follows her into her room, where there are more pictures of the same man. The guy begins
to have moral qualms, but the girl rips his clothes off and has animalistic-intense sex.
Afterwards, he asks her, "Is that picture of your boyfriend or your husband?" She answers, "Neither, it was me before my
surgery." Alas, not all
things are as good as they appear. I got a call
the other week from one of my favorite Casino Hosts.
That in itself isnt very unusual.
I usually get three to five calls each week from various casinos when they
have special promotions and other events planned. Or,
like in this case, when they havent seen me for a while. This call was
a follow-up from a Host at the Stratosphere. With
the opening of the new hotel tower, pool area, Special Events Center and revised
restaurants, the crew that works for owner Carl Icahn want to trot out a full house for
their official Grand-Opening on the weekend of September 15th. Theyre bringing in the Beach Boys and a raft
of other player-only behind-the-scenes type events. I generally
dont stay at the Strat very often. Oh
sure, I play there a bit, but its usually for a quick 7:00 am,
run-in-take-one-turn-at-the-dice-and-leave sort of play. The valet car-hops recognize both me and most of
my vehicles, and they just leave it parked nearby for easy access. This particular Host wanted to know why I
hadnt responded to his written invitation a few weeks prior. I said that I was planning to be in Vegas for all
of August, and possibly right up to and including the New Year, and that I would be sure
to stop by to say hello, but I hadnt included his hotel in my plans. He insisted that I would REALLY enjoy a stay
there, and the Strat would be willing to do whatever it took to get me to try it for at
least two or three nights. Well, as soon
as a Casino Host says that, a mental shopping-list of perks immediately come to mind. I said, Okay, Im heading down in a few
days. How about giving me a suite, rebating
my First-Class airfare from Toronto, and picking me up at the airport? He quickly said, Sure, no problem,
youll have full RFB+++ while youre here.
What else can we do for you? Knowing
that I would be without a vehicle until I get to California on a second-leg of this trip,
I said that I would need a car. He
quizzically asked, I thought you were a car-nut?
Dont you usually drive? I
explained that I was having a couple of them shipped directly down for the Pebble Beach
Concours dElegance show and the Monterey Historic Automobile Races specifically for
the show and a couple of follow-up events in Arizona and New Mexico, so I needed
transportation for about three full weeks. He
said, If I get you a really excellent car, and let you have it upon your arrival and
you keep it until after the car show, would you consider staying for four nights now, and
then coming back for two more nights on the Grand-Opening? I responded by saying, It all depends on
the car. His only response was, Well, Ill give you a hint, you have to
pick it up at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, and take a few hot orientation-laps before
theyll let you on the street with it. To make my
long story even longer, I am now driving a proud American-built, hand-made-in-Las Vegas
Shelby-American Series 1 super-charged steed courtesy of our friends at the Strat. I may not want to give it back when I return from
California later this month. If you are not
familiar with the car, and to save disk-space of this internet-server, you can check out
their fine products for yourself at: I mention all
of this because of an incident the other night, and how it affected my subsequent
dice-throwing. Heres
what led up to it. Virtually EVERY time I
stepped up to the tables in that casino, my rolls were good, predictable, profitable, but
below average in that my hands lasted an average of 16 rolls per hand. Thats still a VERY decent rolls-to-7s
ratio, and substantial profit can be derived from them on a consistent basis. I wasnt shy about taking advantage of those
rolls and my bankroll showed steady increases every time I had a turn at the dice. I stayed away from their Crapless Craps table, and
thereby avoided the biggest of the craps-crowd. It was after
one of those sessions that I went out to retrieve my loaner car. It wasnt in its usual spot, and I
figured the valet had parked it in their garage at the western entrance to the property. I walked across to the valet booth, handed my
ticket to the attendant. He looked at the
ticket, then looked at me. He did it AGAIN
three more times. I returned the look, and
asked if there was a problem. He said that
there was a bit of a problem with the car, but his boss could explain it better. It seems that someone borrowed your vehicle
without our permission, sir, was the explanation that was proffered by the
boss. When I asked, if that meant
it was stolen, he said, Oh, no nothing like that, its more like
missing-in-action along with one of our employees. Give
us a little bit of time, and Im sure well find it for you sir. I gave them my cell-phone number, after receiving assurances that there was no need to call the police just yet. I took a taxi down to the Venetian. The crowd there was light, and the tables were dead. Perfect playing conditions for the Mad Professor, but my mind wasnt on the game. A couple of quick 7-Outs made me consider not playing at all. Then I thought back to what had happened at the Plaza Hotel craps table on a previous visit with my friend Mel. Its an enlightening story about being in the zone and being zoned-out, that you can read about in Walking with a Vegas Ghost - Part V . Normally I
try to focus on several facets of my Precision-Shooting, and it pays handsome dividends
with extended rolls, and related profit. However,
during this particular session at the $10 Venetian tables, I went on
auto-pilot, and let all of the normally-focused, carefully-rehearsed movements
be controlled by a Zen-like trance, instead of the carefully-crafted cold-sober
sniper-precise concentration that I usually employ. For
only the second time that Ive tried it, it worked once again. I threw two back-to-back 70+ roll hands. The first was 72 rolls, and the second was 76
rolls. If
youve read my article
The Lady Is A PRO!, you know
that my girlfriends throwing is actually much better than mine. I thought to myself, Hmmm, maybe she
empties her head, and doesnt try so hard, and thats why she is so good at
it. Conversely, I thought that living
with the likes of ME, was stressful enough, and she just zoned-out when she threw the
dice. Either explanation was plausible to me. I was
absolutely stunned that my results were so good, especially with TWO huge hands in a row. Surprisingly, I wasnt even tired after more
than 75 minutes of solo-shooting. Normally,
Id be exhausted after one mega-hand. Here
I was following two lengthy rolls, and time had just sort of paused while I took a
mental-vacation. I was more worried about a missing $215,000 car that I was responsible
for, instead of the great set of rolls I had put together.
What ended my second hand, was my cell-phones vibrate
ringing-mode, that I had set it to. Usually,
I have it completely turned off when Im at the tables, however, the circumstances
dictated a more available setting. The
car had been located, and I was being summed back to check for damage. It seems that
an employee (now a FORMER employee) had bamboozled the keys from the attendant, and had
taken it for a bit of a spirited ride on Interstate 15.
Being a kind and considerate sort of person, he returned it to its
rightful place under the canopied entrance to the Stratosphere, as though everything was
right with the world. A sharp-eyed
security-guard stopped him in his tracks after returning the keys. There was no damage to
the car, and I was pleased that my temporary chariot was home again. Ive since had second-thoughts about valet
parking, but in all the years that Ive been an honorary citizen of Vegas,
thats the first unpleasant experience Ive had with a car. I took a break
from the action, and after a short rest, I wheeled the car onto the Strip in search of
some Chinese food at Chow Mai Pu Tang.
But thats for another story if you know what I mean. I decided that I may not want to give the Shelby
back to the factory, but Im trying to figure out how I can keep it as a free
parting gift COMP from the Strat! In the
meantime, Ive tried to replicate that empty-headed automaton
Zen/Buddhist-state of mind, but without further success.
I think if I had MORE stress in my life, perhaps my shooting would actually
improve. Good Luck & Good Skill at the Tables
and in
Life. By: The Mad Professor
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