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I Hate Craps,
Sweetie, But I LOVE The Profit In
the
first part
of this article we explored why our wives and/or girlfriends give most guys so much hassle
about perfecting their Precision-Shooting. We
agree that there are physical as well as psychological differences in the sexes. Now dont get me wrong, I really love women. No, let me restate that. I really, REALLY L-O-V-E women. The problem is that sometimes it just happens to
be more than one woman at the same time. Some
girlfriends and/or wives have a real problem with that.
Go figure! While
I adore women, I also know that they can sometimes be difficult to get along with. Occasionally during the month, they can be
downright nasty, and your craps playing and the time you spend perfecting your craft can
be an easy target for them. Mostly its
because they dont understand what we are trying to achieve, but at other times
its because they know that its something that WE like, and that makes it a
target-rich environment for a crampy, angry, or just plain water-retaining woman. Ive
long held that instead of sending battle-hardened Special Forces like the Navy SEALS, or
the Green Berets, or the Army Rangers, or the Delta Force into Afghanistan; we could
send just five American women who have PMS, and they could wipe out Osama and all of his
cronies REAL fast. Now,
how can you tell if a woman has PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) and that your dice-setting
practice sessions should be curtailed for a while? Heres
a few tell-tale signs:
ü
She
stops reading Glamour Magazine and starts reading Guns N Ammo.
ü
She
considers chocolate as a major FDA food group.
ü
She
puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off the roof laughing
hysterically while riding a broom.
ü
She's
developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360-degree circles.
ü
She
retains more water than Lake Superior.
ü
She
denies she's in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her new semi-automatic handgun and
"chambers one."
ü
She
buys a new T-shirt just for you, and it has a bulls-eye on the front.
ü
You
ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table and she says, "All I ever do is
give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING?"
ü
She
enrolls in the Lizzie Borden Axe-Murderer School of Charm.
ü
Her
latest bedside book is titled How to Neuter Your Husband in Two Easy Steps.
ü
She
orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, and a bucket of Chicken McNuggets, all for herself, and
then throws a hammer-lock on the pimply-faced manager because they're out of Diet Coke. Okay,
so how do we make measurable and incremental improvements in the
Craps-As-A-Supplemental-Income department?
And how do you convince your spouse that all the time and effort that you are
spending on perfecting your craft will pay dividends in the future? The best way to do that, is to make your craps playing as profitable as possible, and to do it as quickly as possible. Easier said than done, but it IS achievable. More
than a decade ago, I wasnt bright enough to know that practicing at home before I
set foot into the casino would have saved me thousands upon thousands of dollars in
losses. I spent a ton of real money as I was
improving my Precision-Shooting skills right there in real-world casinos. I figured that
since there was so much variance from table to table in each of the casinos, it made no
sense to practice at home on yet another different surface.
What
I didnt realize was that I could practice both the mechanical side of the throw and
the muscle-memory side of the throw without putting one measly dollar at risk at the
gaming tables. That too would have saved me
close to $100,000 in loses as I worked my attempted magic with the dice. Oh well, that is ancient history now. Its been about ten years since I had to
endure those losses. The pain has
disappeared, but the memory remains. It
is exactly for that reason that I now advocate at-home practice. I recently proved it to myself, when I developed
and then practiced my new Long-Ranger throw.
You can read about it in my
Long Tables =
Po$$ibilitie$
series of articles. I actually practiced in
the middle of the Nevada, Arizona and Utah desert over a number of days. It was that non-casino practice time, with no cash
was at risk, which gave me the opportunity to polish the new throw. Previously, I would have abdicated the attempt
after a short period, because of the losses real-casino experimentation would have cost. The
real question here is, How can we help our spouses understand what we are trying
to do with the dice, and how can we reduce the stress that all the practice time and
casino play adds to our relationship? Being
the emotionally-detached, logical, rational, coherent, Type-A personality alpha-males that
we are; we have to approach this problem, systematically.
Since we wont find the answers to this in a Cosmo or Ms. Magazine
questionnaire check-list, we must break the problem down into easily digestible chunks of
logic. Lets look at the elements
that will help achieve our goal. Theyll
have to include each of the following items, which will show us how to:
Ø
Improve
our throwing consistency.
Ø
Share
time with the woman or women that we love.
Ø
Convince
them that the time we spend practicing will pay dividends in the NEAR future.
Ø
Bring
them into the entire process without hindering our progress.
Ø
Remain
focused on our goals.
Ø
Combine
all of these things, without driving our partner or our selves crazy. How
can we do ALL of those things AT THE SAME TIME? Whew,
thats quite a task to achieve. Lets take an individual look at each element.
Ø
We
want to improve our throwing consistency. To
accomplish that, its going to take practice, and a LOT of it. That means spending a certain number of hours each
week that are dedicated to perfecting the art. Having
a Practice Layout as described elsewhere on Irishsetters site is an excellent idea. When we get the mechanics of the throw
perfected, you will be surprised at how consistent your Precision-Shooting will become.
Ø
We
want to share time with the woman or women that we love.
Okay, for practical reasons, lets limit it to ONE woman at a time,
because having two or more is like juggling chainsaws going full rip, unless everyone is
in full agreement to those kinds of arrangements. You
can explain to your wife just what it is that you are trying to accomplish, and then bring
her into the equation by ASKING for her help. Inviting
her into the inner-sanctums of your soul will be a rare, if unusual, treat for the both of
you. If she will assist you by charting the numbers that you throw, you will be better
able to analyze not only signature-number trends, but you will be able to focus on your
throwing-technique, rather than making notes between every throw. She can also book any bet variations
that you make during each hand. That is, you
could have her write down your initial bet, then as the hand progresses, you could have
her make +/- payouts on paper as your bets come in or fall. This requires loads of patience from both of you. The exercise is worth it. Consider it an investment in your future
happiness. There may be some discomfort now,
just as your initial experimentation with shooting may be disappointing. But stick with both ideas, and you will see
discernable and marked progress within a fairly short time.
Ø
Convince
your wife that the time we spend practicing will pay dividends in the NEAR future. If you have her participate as suggested in the
item above, she should see some steady progress over a number of weeks. Since you put the date on each session
that you practice, the both of you should see some steady, concrete improvement. When that proves out on paper, you can proceed to
the next point.
Ø
Bring
your spouse into the entire process without hindering your own progress. By explaining that the in-casino
experience is a little more stressful than it is when practicing at home, she will
understand when you tell her that you need a little more mental as well as physical space
at the casino. As a trade-off, you could
offer to split any profit with her. It not
only shows how kind and considerate you are as a spouse, it proves to her that she is
truly your partner. While fear and greed are
the basest of motivators, CASH is a strong belief-lubricant, as well as an aphrodisiac for
some women.
Ø
It
takes a lot of courage to say to your wife, Id really like to be able to use
any profit that WE earn from craps to augment our family income. Now Im not suggesting that you quit your job
or anything like that. Rather, you are saying that you believe that if you improve your
Precision-Shooting to the point where it generates a decent amount of money, then,
youd like to be able to treat her and your family to a few more extravagant
indulgences. Remaining focused on the goal
that you initially set is difficult. As soon
as you say it out loud to someone that you know, love and respect; you are making a
stronger commitment than if it was just a silent wish you made to yourself.
Ø
Combining
all of these things, without driving you and your partner crazy, is a VERY difficult
thing. It bears repeating to say that if
Precision-Shooting was easy, everyone would be doing it.
It is not easy, but it is achievable. You
simply have to make the commitment, and then do everything necessary to accomplish it. The
practice time, the focus, the dedication and commitment, plus the cooperation of your
spouse is necessary. I
guess were really talking about making your wife or girlfriend, your ally in this
effort. It is a lot easier if they are
supportive of your goals. The closer you can
bring them to understand the game, and what it is you are trying to achieve, the easier it
will be to get to the promised land. Hey,
when you do get there, please remember the commitment that you made to her about not just
being your wife, SHES YOUR PARTNER. In
Part Three, well look how to put all of this into practical use. Until then
Good Luck & Good Skill at the Tables
and in
Life. By: The Mad Professor
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