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Are You a Friggin' Idiot?

At the craps table and in life…some people are idiots.
Is it genetics and heredity, or up-bringing and environment?

There are a lot of idiots out there.
I'm pretty sure that I don't mean you, but are you confident enough to find out?

Most of my articles are geared towards helping people who want to win. Still, losers need help too.  Think of this as a community service for the greater good of ALL players everywhere.

Since this probably doesn't pertain to you, it might help a friend in need.

Losers love to brag.  "Oh, I took a beating, just like every other time."  "I'm going to make my weekly donation to the casino."   "I can't win for losing."  "I can never win on a Saturday night."  The list of moans and groans is long and distinguished, just like my…

Some are driven to go for broke, just like the pioneers.  Wait a minute, a lot of pioneers got killed on their way to homestead this great land.

When they run out of money, they go to a cash or credit card machine, where there are lots of other losers in line, who will listen to and share in his tale of woe.  Oprah would call this "enabling".  Psychiatrists would call this co-dependence.  We can just call it "acting like a loser."

If they've tapped out their Line of Casino Credit, they go to the cage to ask for MORE.  If blessed with an "extension" to their Line, the loser reinforces his image by being rude and impatient about the paperwork taking so long.

They always find someone to blame for their bad luck.  Good candidates are floor-men who supervise, spouses who nag, the unseen casino owners, or cocktail waitresses.

They grumble about lousy shooters or "don't" bettors. They blame the stick-man for scrambling the dice, the box-man for moving the dice too quickly, the dealer on his end of the table for being the unluckiest guy in the joint.

When buying-in and being wished "good luck", they say, "If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no hope at all" or, "I'm Bob Hope's brother; No Hope."

When coloring-in and being wished "Have a nice day" by the dealers, they say, "Don't tell me what to do!"

To impress, humiliate, intimidate, brow-beat, disarm or embarrass, they mumble sexual or racial epithets whenever possible.

To exercise control or power over others, they will blow smoke, spill drinks, elbow or generally shove their physical or verbal weight around.

They will buy-in too low and continually take out greasy bits and pieces of more money as needed, usually in small, individually crumpled bills.  Expect to see a few $5's and a number of $1's.

If playing for "comps", they will go to a Pit Boss and crassly demand something expensive, while they loudly lament current and past losses.

In restaurants or lounges, they complain about everything. Where they're seated, slow service, weak drinks, cold soup, warm beer, over-cooked steak, and of course, the cost!

They tell everyone that the odds favor the casino, so nobody really wins except as a come-on, but they play all the time because they "…love the action, and they really treat me good there."

Drinking liquor is one of their favorite casino activities.  With all the free booze, they can stand at a table, have half-a-dozen drinks and it will only cost them their bankroll.  What a deal!  Booze makes most idiots turn into something truly pathetic.

At valet parking, they will stiff the car-hop.  In the restaurants, they will stiff the waitress.  At the tables, they will stiff the dealers.  In their comped room, they will stiff housekeeping. 

At home, they will under-report losses and over-report winnings.  Or worse yet, they will do exactly the opposite. 

In life, they will always short-change whomever they can.   At nearly every step along the way, they will be losers.  And to the very end, they will continue to be friggin' idiots.

Good Luck & Good Skill at the Tables…and in Life.

By:   The Mad Professor

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