I’ve reviewed Lucky Ned’s Incredi-System; it doesn’t work.
I’ve reviewed Olaf’s Transcendental System; it doesn’t work.
I’ve reviewed Kelly’s Proportional Criterion; it doesn’t work.
I’ve reviewed Bill & Ted’s Excellent System; it doesn’t work, but they sure have fun with it.
Yes, Bill and Ted are their real names. They are brothers from Topeka, Kansas, and own a ranch just off of Interstate 70. Lots of folks kid them about their names, and the fact that they do somewhat resemble a later-years version of that infamous duo of movie fame. These two guys do have excellent adventures, and lately they say it’s been at the craps table.
Craps fans spend countless hours trying to dope out combinations of wagers and amounts that can’t lose, regardless of what number shows. Odds and payoffs associated with individual wagers are structured to make such a bet impossible. But these two guys worked tirelessly on various systems while tending cattle down on the ranch.
Bill & Ted’s approach began by building up combinations of bets that cover more and more numbers. They would adjust and readjust the amounts, trying for a way to win on at least one number and do no worse than break even on the rest. Here’s the general concept, and how it evolved.
They started with a plain vanilla $5 Field bet, and they added Place bets on the 6 & 8 for $6 each. Nine numbers are winners and two (5 & 7) are losers. This is your typical Iron Cross play:
| Roll | Result |
| 2, 12 | win $10 |
| 3, 4, 9, 10, 11 | win $5 |
| 6 & 8 | win $2 |
They liked this approach, but weren’t completely satisfied, so they added $3 on Any Seven. Alone, this wins $12 on a 7, and everything else loses. If a 7 rolls, your net loss is $5. In combination with the 6, 8, and Field bet, ten numbers are winners while the 5 is the only number not covered:
| Roll | Result |
| 2, 12 | win $7 |
| 3, 4, 9, 10, 11 | win $2 |
| 6 & 8 | lose $1 |
Their “research” evolved to where they added a Place bet on the 5 for $5. Alone, this bet pays $7. With the amalgamated bet, seven numbers are winners, one breaks even, and three are losers:
| Roll | Result |
| 2, 12 | win $7 |
| 3, 4, 9, 10, 11 | win $2 |
| 5 | Lose $1 |
| 7 | lose $10 |
| 6 & 8 | lose $1 |
Confused yet? They sure seemed to be at this point too. In developing their “system” further, Bill & Ted then raised the bet on Any Seven to $4 and cut the Field bet to $4. Now, seven numbers are winners, and four are losers:
| Roll | Result | |||
| 7 | lose $1 | |||
| 2, 12 | win $4 | |||
| 5 | lose $1 | |||
| 3, 4, 9, 10, 11 | Win $1 | |||
| 6, 8 | lose $1 | |||
You get the drift. This is now starting to look worse and worse by each “iteration”. Simply put, the more Bill & Ted try to cover off all of the possibilities, the worse their situation gets. Adjusting one bet, makes everything else fall out of place. Guess what they came up with after countless hours of sitting on a hay bale, putting pen to paper, slide-rule to hand, and finger to calculator?
After cleaning the “meadow pies” off their boots, they decided a radical approach was now in order. They now bet $5 on the 5, $6 each on the 6 & 8, and $4 on the Field, and they pray…A LOT ! Their results look like this:
| Roll | Result | |
| 7 | lose $21 | |
| 2, 12 | win $8 | |
| 5 | win $3 | |
| 3, 4, 9, 10, 11 | win $4 | |
| 6, 8 | win $3 |
They reason that they’ve got 10 out of 11 possible numbers covered. “That’s right, but the 7 is still there on the dice to spoil all of your plans”, I said. “Yeah, we know that Professor, but we like picking up money on practically every roll,” replied Bill. “And”, added Ted, “playing craps at a table is a lot more fun than shoveling steamy piles of it back on the farm.” Maybe so, I thought, but farming sure looks a lot more profitable than Bill & Ted’s Excellent System!
Good Luck & Good Skill at the Tables…and in Life.
By: The Mad Professor
