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Gilligan, the Skipper, and The Mad Professor
I felt
like I was on the good ship S.S. Minnow for two months.
We were never marooned on a deserted island. We didn't have to cooper up washing machines
and TV sets using coconut shells, bicycle parts and banana leaves. And we didn't have to build bamboo huts and eat
lizard tails or monkey gizzards, but we sure had some fun island adventures. The best part was that our own versions of
Ginger and Mary-Anne were BOTH with us, so there were NO lonely
nights! Back in
early March, I was invited by some friends to join them on their boat for a trip in the
Caribbean. What started off as a fifteen-day
trip, finally ended after fifty-eight days of sun, surf, sand and sizeable profit.
Believe
me, Im not complaining, but it ended at just the perfect twain between being TOO
long, and not being long enough. Im
told women know the subtlety of THAT concept much better than men do. We kept
deciding to extend the trip because of the great times, good weather, fine cruising,
incredible food, camaraderie and outstanding casino profit that we were enjoying. It was a unanimous decision, and one that none of
us have since regretted. Here's a
list of where we went; how I did, and a few notes along the way:
Dominican Republic: The
island of Hispaniola is shared by this country and Haiti.
Despite the strife in Haiti, its a beautiful lush island that I have
spent much time on in the past. Instead of
telling you about past exploits, heres how I did on this trip: Jaragua Ramada Renaissance Resort in Santa
Domingo, generated a decent profit, but we felt unsafe as we left the hotel quite late at
night to make our way back to the boat. Total net win was $1740. There are about twenty casinos in this nations
capital city, but we didnt have the right vibe about staying and playing
so we moved on to several less-intense, less-populated areas of the island. Bavaro Beach Resort near Punta Cana, produced some great profit, and I ran into
an old friend from the Trop in Atlantic City who now manages the casino. Total net profit after hiring a personal
driver/body guard for the duration of our time on this island, was $4,600. Keep in
mind that the standard of living here is significantly lower than the United States or
Canada. One U.S. Dollar can be
officially exchanged for about twelve DR-Dollars. The unofficial or
street exchange rate is closer to 20-to-1.
The black-market trade of U.S. currency with foreign visitors is the biggest
cottage trade on the island. We then
spent several days in San Pedro de Macaries. This
is a small city that has produced several major-league baseball players. We were guests of a former star player for the
Toronto Blue Jays baseball team when they won back-to-back World Series. Still on salary as Vice-President of Player
Development for another team, he has built an estate in the middle of what could otherwise
be described as Caribbean-jungle, and we LOVED our time there. Exploring this untamed wild-land fueled our desire
for even more jungle adventures down the road. Coral Costa Caribe Beach Casino was quite small by
all standards, as are most of the casinos on this island.
I walked away with a three-day profit of $4,010. Los Cosquitos Beach Resort was not as profitable
over the same three-day period. In total, I
can report a net win of just $830. Jack Tar Village
near Puerto Plata, had a lot of topless and bottomless bathing nearby, and the excellent
beaches were an added consolation to the great weather and good craps. Total net win after
expenses was $940, and included some shopping at a nearby straw market for
fruits of the island, some locally caught seafood, and re-provisioning the boat. There are four other casinos in Puerto Plata, but
we werent inclined to visit any of them.
Bahamas: The most
civilized of the islands we visited; the 700 islands that make up the Bahamas are
technically not even in the Caribbean. However, since it was part of the trip, here are
the results: Nassau Marriott Resort & Crystal Palace Casino. High table minimums, and slow dealers impeded my
profit potential here. We ended up enjoying
some great comped dinners, but net profit just barely broke through the $500 mark despite
considerable time at the tables. Atlantis Resort,
with its 50,000 sq. ft. casino, and 14 pools, lagoons & grottos, this was the
second nicest resort that we encountered during our sojourn. The same story for the Crystal Palace was repeated
here, only more so! High table minimums and
slow movement of the dice actually restricted my shooting to two hands of 21 rolls and 29
rolls, respectively. The dealers were
averaging about one roll every two minutes. I
found it frustrating with all the waiting. Profit
was somewhat better, in reaching the $730 mark, but the number of hours that it took,
didnt seem to justify the time while it was happening. Now, with more perspective, I can say that a $730
profit was very nice, and was definitely worth the time. Aruba: If Aruba
isnt the wind-surfing capital of the world, it should be. There are constant 30 mph. heated winds that
waft you along amongst the ocean waves at such a good clip, its like no other thrill
that Ive ever experienced. I spent most
of my time here on a sail-board, and not in the casinos. There are
two main casino areas on this tiny island which is only two miles across at its
widest point. On J. E. Irausquin Boulevard,
there are nine casinos that are practically side-by-side or across from each other. The other area is L.G. Smith Boulevard, where
there were three other casino resorts, that are spread out in a seaside-village type
arrangement. We spent
quite a bit of time exploring all of them. Although
I have been here many times in the past, my cohorts have never been on this windswept
island, where even the divi-divi trees are fully bent-over to pay homage to the constant
tropical breeze that only blows in one non-stop near-equatorial direction. In a lot of cases, the trees are so bent that you
can string a hammock from the top of the tree branches down to the trunk, and rest quite
comfortably while the ocean sounds lull you to sleep. Heres
a short summary of our bon bimi exploits: Casino Masquerade @ Radisson Aruba Caribbean Resort. Limited playing time brought $210 into my pocket, where we left after a short session. Palace Casino @
Americana Aruba Beach Resort. This
was one of the few places where I experienced a loss.
Despite my own rolling, I still managed to lose $83 in another short
session. Casablanca Casino @ Wyndham Aruba Beach
Resort. What I lost at the Palace
Casino, I more than made up for the next day in this 12,000 sq. ft. house. Net profit eclipsed the $1700 point in just twenty
minutes of play. I rolled it all myself, and
left for a shipboard lunch with my companions. I
intended to return that evening, but we got side-tracked with three other couples who had
discovered a hot Voodoo Lounge-type nightclub in Oranjestad. We partied until 6:00 am, and we were in no shape
to play at all the following day. Many
hours of in-the-sun relaxation and de-pickling was called for. Grand Holiday Casino @ Holiday Inn Aruba
Beach Resort. This
resort is in serious need of renovation.
We were unhappy with the food, the service and the general atmosphere. It actually reminded me of the El Cortez in Las
Vegas. Again, choppy tables were the rule
rather than the exception. A net profit of
$15 after an unforgettably bad meal was all I managed to leave with. I was happier with the profit than I was with the
gut-wrenching child-birth-type cramps that followed from the food-poisoning we all
received courtesy of the restaurant. Copacabana Casino
@ Hyatt Regency Aruba Beach Resort.
Located on Palm Beach, about 5 miles from Arubas capital of Oranjestad, this
11,000 sq. ft. casino provided some excellent shooting opportunities for our entire gang. My lovely female partner actually shot even BETTER
than I did. A rare occurrence like that has
to be milked to its fullest, and you can bet that I did! But I was a little slow off the mark, to take full
advantage of her good fortune. Although I was
on her roll from the beginning, I didnt begin to aggressively press my bets until
she had gotten past 15 rolls. It was then
that I realized that we were in the middle of a genuine hot roll. I ratcheted up my bets, by doing double
unit, then triple-unit presses on every other hit. All the Place numbers were already covered,
and the Press action quickly maxed out the table limit, and filled my racks to the
over-flowing point. Total rolls during her
hand were 71, which equated to a net profit of $19, 480! That session alone made the entire trip all the
more enjoyable for everyone, especially her! Alhambra Casino
is the only casino on the island that doesnt have a hotel attached to it. When we visited it, the craps tables were not
open. In fact, no other table games were
open, only the slot machines. This was at
2:00 pm on a Thursday afternoon. The
ladies played a little bit of slots while I wandered around the nearby outdoor-market
area. I ran into some fellow craps players
that we had befriended during my girlfriends epic roll at the Hyatt two nights
earlier. They invited our entire group to
join them for dinner that evening at the Aruba Marriott.
They said that with the winnings from the other night, their entire trip was paid
for, together with enough money to fully pay for their two childrens college
education. They said the least they could do
was to buy us dinner out of gratitude, and I happily agreed on behalf of our shipmates. Stellaris Casino @ Aruba Marriott Resort. After a wonderful dinner with ten people including our new-found friends, we started play in this futuristic-styled casino. A few hours later, there were a few hundred dollars more in my pocket than what I started with; $470 to be exact. Crystal
Casino @ Aruba Sonesta Resort at
Seaport Village. We played at this resort
for a couple of days because our boat was moored right at the foot of the hotel, and the
convenience couldnt have been better. We
liked the ambience, we liked the food, we liked the people, we liked the dealers, and I
especially liked the PROFIT. For two
and-a-half days, profit peaked at $3,100. Seaport
Casino @ Aruba Sonesta Beach
Suites at Seaport Village. This is a totally different casino than the one
mentioned above. The comps were generous to a
fault. Collectively, our group won more than
$14,000 here. My share was a decent $4,870 of
that total. Royal Cabana Casino @ La Cabana Beach Resort on
Eagle Beach, was easily my favorite place to play while we were in Aruba. I didnt get to play here as long as I wanted
because we had other commitments elsewhere. Despite
that, I felt the most comfortable, focused and relaxed in this casino. It was also home to some very decent sessions. I threw a range of 18 to 48 rolls per hand during
my various turns, and I never felt tired or under pressure at all. The profit picture wasnt too shabby
either. I made $5,770 in total net profit
during all of my sessions. This place made me
consider coming back here on my own, or with a smaller group (ie. one other person) to
fully experience it again.
Bonaire: Divi Flamingo Beach Resort saw limited playing
time, and a $110 profit.
Curacao: Princess Beach Resort also saw limited playing
time, and generated a $40 profit.
St. Maarten This is
my favorite island. The combination of Dutch
hospitality on the one side of the island, with the food of the French from the other
side, combined with a Caribbean flavor, added up to one totally enjoyable experience. Princess Port de Plaisance Resort & Spa was
the home of the triple parlay Midnight bet as discussed in the
You Had To Be
There (Part I) article. My own profit was a little over $1600, but my
friend Daves profit derived from my rolling was in excess of $72,000. Divi Little Bay Beach Resort was the casino where
I followed up with my own Midnight parlay as chronicled in my
You Had To Be There
(Part II) article. My fortunes swelled from a bet that I had not
usually made on my rolls up until that time. For
that astute move, my bankroll picked up almost $17,000, mostly made up from
that parlayed Big Daddy in the Rice-Paddy 12 action. Pelican
Key Resort & Casino was over-crowded when we got there. The crowd had not thinned after a leisurely dinner
and some dancing in their nightclub. Fatigued
after a full-day of snorkeling, we retired from this casino without even getting close to
the craps table.
Puerto Rico: Our time
here was mostly spent as tourists. Again, my
girlfriend and the rest of our shipmates had never been here before. For that reason, most of the time was spent
sight-seeing. I like the historical
architecture of the entire island, especially the old forts together with some of the
early Spanish-Colonial designs that are found in the non-tourist sections of this
beautiful island. So here are the results of
that rather abbreviated playing time. In San
Juan, we played at: El San Juan Hotel,
which is one of the islands oldest casinos, is currently operated by the Wyndham
chain, and gave me a tidy sum of $320 for a short session on our first afternoon there. Condado Plaza Hotel was the high-point of our second day, and it garnered $780
for the effort. We missed
playing at the Inter-Continental San Juan Resort, the Radisson Ambassador Plaza, and the
San Juan Marriott because of doing the tourist thing. Hyatt Regency Cerromar Beach Resort in Dorado is
unquestionably one of the most beautifully landscaped vacation properties that I have ever
seen anywhere in the world. Excellent food,
excellent staff and excellent winnings of $2,390 made this place a winner for me. The Weston Rio Mar Beach Resort in Rio Grande has a golf course where I
tortured a few balls, cursed at the golf-gods, and generally enjoyed myself. We spent our 19th-hole time in the
casino, where I fared better than I did on the fairways, to the tune of a $630 profit. El Conquistidor Resort in Las Croaba is also
operated by Wyndham, and their huge casino filled my pocket with a not-so-huge total of
$240. Wyndham Palmas del Mar in Humacao has a high-end
ambiance, which we all enjoyed. One of our
best resort meals was enjoyed here. Total net
profit after buying dinner for everyone (I only had comps for two), was $945. As they
say, that was that. We played at more than thirty casinos, and I made
about $74,000. While its true that my
friend Dave made as much off of my one hand
at the Princess Resort in St. Maarten as I did for the entire trip, you have to understand
that he GAMBLES when he plays. On the other
hand, I like to engineer as much risk as possible out of the game. Im happy with my winnings, and I am truly
grateful to Dave and his lovely wife Sherri, for inviting us along on their trip. To
restore a bit of equilibrium and balance to my life, I immediately joined with an intrepid
group of like-minded adventurers for a nearly three-week journey up the Amazon River and
into the jungle rainforests of Brazil, Peru and Ecuador.
A non-gaming holiday is exactly what I needed to restore the perspective,
stability and symmetry to my soul. I have an
abundance of fond memories, some great gaming stories, and a treasure chest full of casino
loot. Gilligan, the Skipper and Ginger have already invited the Mad Professor along for
their next ship-bound escapade. Good Luck & Good Skill at the Tables
and in Life. By:
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